Sunday, January 10, 2010

Couldn't Sleep

Sleep was not happening so i thought maybe my mind needed to release some stuff. As of the last post I have basically removed ALL drama people from my life. ANYONE who brought drama at all to my life, or let other friends do so was removed. I must say my spirits have been higher than ever. I have had a easier time choosing what is right. I have felt closer to the things i know i must do. It IS true, light can not dwell where darkness is!

School starts Tuesday. Im pretty excited. I really cant wait to get my 2 years done. I plan on leaving Utah as soon as it is. Where? who knows. But out of Utah!

Some may know i have talking to a lad in england. The time difference is killing me. We hardly get to speak, but im happy. He enriches my life. It will be interesting to see where this goes. I feel like im in the movie August Rush or Across the universe...more so that one lol no kid. MMMMMM the thought of his voice. HEAVEN ON EARTH!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

True Love. Imperfections. And random rant.

True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well being of one’s companion ~ Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley ~

After finding this quote my friend had on facebook i thought a lot about love. Love in a marriage, love in a family, love in God, love in the church, love in YOURSELF. It all applies. It has recently come to my attention through almost deciding to cut ties with one of my closest friends that i have many "issues" and many of them issues stem from not loving myself. Let me explain how i feel this quote applies to this.

"anxious concern for the well being of one's companion". Sure President Hinckley was speaking of a marriage love, but i believe this can apply to being concerned for our own inner companion. The Holy Ghost. It is something that i know i personally dont have "anxious concern of well being" for. Something that i hope to change. No, something I WILL change. I honestly believe that if we "provided for" our spirit more and for our bodies less that our individual lives would be happier, more carefree, and less drama. Bringing me to my final thought for the night.

As i realized that i wasn't anxiously concerned for the well being of my companion the Holy Ghost i saw many of my imperfections once again come into the light. And my "ah ha" radar went CRAZY! If i'm not taking care of my spirit how can i expect God to help me perfect my imperfections, thus making me happy? And if im not happy, how can i expect to make smart choices in my life that will lead me to exaltation. Therefore, if i'm not on a path to exaltation, why am i even alive?! HOLY AH HA BATMAN! It is 100% true that EVERY aspect of this church is linked together. Like i explained to a dear friend last night. If you believe in one part of the church, you believe in it all. For example, i have a lack of testimony of Joseph Smith and the Book Of Mormon. Not that i don't believe it. I just don't have a strong testimony of it. Although, i 100% believe in the family unit of the church, the proclamation to the family, the after life. So, if i believe in that i believe in God, if i believe in God i believe he spoke to Joseph Smith, and helped him translate the Book of Mormon. Thus, strengthening my testimony i didn't know was already solid.

I'm thankful for this mighty change in me. I'm thankful for a new year, new beginnings. I'm thankful for friends, real friends that put up with my drama. And forgive me for the dumb things i do. I'm thankful for the gospel in my life, and how it makes me automatic "sistas" with people i'm growing to love in my life. I am blessed.....truly blessed.

Devine Intervention

Today i am thankful for prayers being answered. It amazes me how the Lord really works. How he can take two people, even million miles apart and answer both their prayers. He honestly does know whats personally best for us, and at what time it is best. Sometimes we think we know what is best for us. But i promise, he knows what is better! And that makes me extremely happy! :D

Sunday, January 3, 2010

This is honestly my 2010 theme. I'm so sick of "friends" and others adding drama to my life. I have a hard enough time as a woman with the drama i personally create than to let others bring some with them. SAY NO TO DRAMA! The biggest issue is with Communication, not just men have this issue. People in general do not know how to communicate. They have the foot in the mouth disease. Think before you talk people! Given I'm just as guilty, but at least i catch on after a few seconds! And is it just me or do men not know how to communicate? The biggest thing i notice is they feel if they just ignore you, or if they just shrug things off that we will "get the hint". How about they just man up and grow a pair? Tell us how the heck you feel! Sure it might hurt, but it sure is heck of a lot easier on us than making us GUESS! You cant read our mind, so we cant read yours right? Alas, i love them. In spite of all the broken promises I've had from more than a few, i love men. And one day i will find the one that i will love more than anything, even if i might get frustrated with him daily lol. Venting over!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Live. Laugh. Love.

As a new year for me begins, i look back on this last year. There were many changes, heartbreaks, and struggles. For a short time i was saddened by these things. However, as i sat and thought more about them i realized what a blessing they were. I know with all my heart that who i am right this min is because of who i choose to be in the past. These things in this past year have impacted my greatly, good or bad. Therefore forgetting about them or wishing they were different just removes the reason i was sent here to earth.

There are many of my friends i look up to. As i write this blog there is one person who stands out in my mind. He is so positive, strong, diligent, humble, dedicated to whats right, and just a all around great person. I value him as a friend greatly, because there are many updates of his life that inspire me. He has a profound view of the "whole picture" of life. And i know without a doubt he was placed in my life this year to possibly "help me make it through". For this i am grateful.

For those that i don't talk to on a weekly bases that have NO idea what is going on in my life heres a update. Last Aug i started school again at a community college here in Utah. Something i have postponed far to long. What a experience that was! I switched from major to major not knowing what i wanted to do. I ended up taking a communications class that i really don't need now because of the switch of majors. I learned more about myself in this single class than i have in all the years alive! I'm grateful for that.

I'm also currently waitressing at a sports bar here in Utah. I love my job to death, the pay could be better though lol. I love meeting new people, having interesting short conversations, and the feeling i get when they ask to sit in my area whenever they come back. It just proves the direct impact you can have on someones life.

In conclusion for this blog, i would like to share one simple thought. It is my honest opinion that if we as humans Lived our lives with laughter and love the world would be a better place. Far to many times even in my own life i notice i take things much to serious. It is fairly easy to fall into this vicious cycle we call "real life" that we forget to live, laugh, and love. It is my hope that in this new 2010 year that i can Live more, Laugh often, and Love always.

Much Love